Oh heEEEEey

So maybe I should first explain my title. Its my way of saying, Hey to also remind you how much you love me and how you shouldn't judge for my lack of interesting blog posts. (My 2 1/2 readers, don't hate)

I've been in SUCH a funk lately. I don't know what my problem is. I've been moody, cranky, easily annoyed and I just don't have the energy to deal with ANYONE. Except the kids. I always love the kids, tonight I laid in bed with Nate until he fell asleep just because I wanted to snuggle and then I stayed a bit longer. I need to figure my shit out (excuse the language. It just felt appropriate in this situation) I have been incredibly home sick. For my family. I'll be ok. I keep telling myself.

I'm starting to work towards being happy with myself again. I let someone into my life briefly and for some reason I have been damaged since. Damaged as in, summer of 2005, and if you know anything about me then that is NOT a good. Like I said. I'm working on it.

*warning. dramatic paragraph approaching. Feel free to skip. I won't be offended*

This post isn't for anyone. Its for myself. Its to get some stuff out and to hopefully purge out some of this negative energy thats been swirling around me lately.

I have never before met someone that has been so poisonous to my life in such a short time. Someone who came in and exploded like a bomb leaving nothing but shrapnel. I feel ill thinking about the amount of energy I have spent on this person. The smallest inkling of feelings I felt make me sick. I can't wait until this is a distant memory.

*dramatic paragraph over*

Anyway. I'm still here. Still kicking. Anticipating summer and itching to wear summer clothes.

Miss you all.