Seriously?

It seems fitting that the last blog I wrote was a tribute to Nick on our 6 months. We're approaching  our one year and with all that's happened I realized I hadn't posted much. Nor do I think I will be from here on out. I'm retiring the blog. I have nothing to complain about, I have no big news to express and no one to share it with (since we met he's been my go to man and has never failed me).

So here I am, a different forum but the same, old, message. I've met my soul mate. It's not something I  ever expected. I thought the person I would spend the rest of my life with would be someone who I was similar too. Someone who understood certain aspects of my personality. Until I met nick. And then I realized I needed someone who was nothing like me. Someone who would stand up for me when I couldn't stand up for myself. Someone who would get angry when all I could do was cowar. Someone who would tell me I was amazing when everyone else was telling me that I wasn't worth it.

Someone to love me when I struggled loving myself.

There was once A time when I loathed cheesy Facebook status', when I gauffed at love sick girls, but now I'm certain, no one could have ever possibly felt what I feel, so I'm special, because I have fallen head over heels, "hard core in love, to the max" ;)

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

6 months later

Things are about to get cheesy. Just a warning.....

6 months ago I was invited to go out for coffee one Sunday morning. I almost canceled a dozen times. I hadn't dated much in the previous year and I was taking on a lot with school and work. I finally had a friend talk me into it. What would an hour hurt really? Well turns out it didn't hurt at all.

That hour turned into spending the day together. Talking, laughing, and at one point crying. (we ended up seeing a movie we were both interested in and I cried like a little girl). I met my best friend that day. I fell in love with him shortly there after. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't dated much. I've done my fair share. I've lived in many different places and I've spent time with lots of different people. And never before has something come so easy.

If youre reading this you know who I'm talking about. I've been a giddy school girl when I talk about him since that Sunday morning when he showed up with chocolate cake because he had heard in passing that it was my favorite.

I've never met someone who so wholly gets me. Makes me feel safe. And makes me so happy. I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel this way about the person they love but I know he's the first one I've felt this way about, and that's good enough for me.

So this is for you Nick. My best friend. My biggest fan. My love. Thank you for the best 6 months of my life. And here's to another 59 years and 6 months. Because I love you..... Or something like that.

How about that

So I know its been a while.... 3 months to be exact. Sheesh I suck. Sorry. So whats been going on... I had my birthday... we all know how much I LOVE my birthday... The only thing I had requested for the big day was that I not have to make any decisions. My thinking was that I make a million decisions a day for 4 kids and 3 adults and I just didn't want to be in charge anymore. So in true Marine form, Nick planned. And plan he did. He had an itinerary. Which is...

A. adorable.

B. right up my alley.

and C. just like him.

He told me what was planned and the only thing I had to argue with was that I had to be up early, that was easily fixed.

So a lot happened, it was a great day, and it ended with dinner. It was amazing and I got to get dressed up and Nick got dressed up too, which if you know him you know is a big deal to get him into anything besides a gray USMC shirt. I even got a picture to document this monumental night...

We even match!

So that wraps up November, now by this point I had finally ditched my vegetarian ways because I was craving some Dru Willhite cooking and so I ate ham..... and it spiraled from there.

So... I'm going to skip December because really the month sucked, it was spent feeling terribly homesick and I hate Christmas and its better off forgotten. I had other plans for this blog but I felt like I should catch up with what happened... I've completely lost steam, so the post that was meant for today will have to be written another day.

Ps. if you think my hair is long in the birthday picture you should see it now!

I'm a terrible person

Now before you get all up in arms about the title of the post, read it first, you may find yourself agreeing.

There are two things I am very aware of about myself.

1. I am a flip flopper (very easily persuaded to change my mind and/or opinion.

2. I am very passionate about whatever my opinion may be at that time.

(Now I'm also really good at putting a good spin on things so I like to advertise myself at being easy going and open minded!...anyway. Back to my original thought...)

For the past 2 years I've been pretty adamant about my desire to never have children. I live with 4, I think they are adorable, I love them so much it hurts sometimes, but I have nights, weekends, and holidays off. I just don't know if children of my own are in my future. Now, before you jump into a tirade about, just wait until I get married, or, maybe when you grow up a little more and finish sowing those wild oats, blah, blah,blah... lets just back to the two things I'm really good at.... being passionate at... flip flopping.

Now that I'm not passionately single anymore (say what?!?! I know.... I was shocked to. But he's so cute and snuggly!) I have begun to be passionately flip floppy about wanting kids (someday. not now, geeze its only been 6 weeks people! He's not THAT snuggly)

Now, its not the first thing I tell people so when Marin outed my secret to Nick I felt like I needed to defend myself. I did, he agreed/understood and we went on our way. But he unleashed a monster. He allowed me space to flip flop, out loud, about it. (I don't even have to hide my neurosis' in front of him. Its truly magical.)

So thus begins my ever lasting commentary about whether or not I want kids, and the reasons why I feel that way, and there in lies how I am a terrible person.

Last weekend Nick and I went down to Virginia to go to the Marine Museum and to visit Quantico (the marine base). It was a lot of fun, but thats another post for another time. While we were there we were in the store on base and I met a new born baby, 3 weeks old, and sleeping. I turned to Nick "I want a baby!" Now, Nick is a great boyfriend, he chuckled, patted me on the head, and distracted me with shiny new cameras. About 20 minutes later we were in a different part of the store and heard the same baby crying, hard, homeboy was UPSET. I turned to Nick " I change my mind, in fact I think I just felt my uterus close." He again smiled, patted my head and showed me the Sees Candy display.

I'm a nut case I tell you. This happens about a BAZILLION times a day. And I'm not even actively trying to DECIDE if I want kids or not. Sheesh.

Now, not to under estimate my craziness, I've taken it to a new, worse level.

"what if I have a baby and its crossed eyed?!?! I don't want kids."

"look at those little baby fatigues! I want a baby!"

So now you know. I am a terrible person. As of right now I am NOT having kids, because what if.... WHAT IF!!!!!!!!...... they get my chin?!?!?

A little change never hurt. much.

From time to time, more often then not, I feel the need to change. Go inside myself, and just change some things. I think it keeps me growing, keeps me evolving, and it keeps me aware of how I'm viewed by others. Not that I necessarily care what others think about me, because my decisions are my own and I stand behind all of them, but because sometimes we have annoying traits that are just better, not there.

Its not that I change EVERYTHING about myself, that wouldn't be being true to me. But I'll change a habit here, a character flaw there, because I believe that true happiness comes from being the best possible version of myself that I can possibly be. Now I also don't believe that I can ever be perfect, but I don't mind spending the rest of my life "tweaking" things to try and get there.

The problem with this, is that I put these changes into motion by what I feel is right. Not what others tell me. So, when I make certain changes, some friends and family are shocked. They do not agree with the change I've made, and not only do they balk at it, they fight. Tooth and nail to get me to undo the change. To be who they thought I was.

There are some obvious changes that I'm sure if you're reading this you know about, religion. School. Career. Geographical location. All of these things have caused someone(s) I hold dearly to just not understand why I would do such things. And as I wish I could sit and explain to every individual why I changed the way I did, and why I'm happier, I just can't. Sometimes I don't even have a logical explanation, it was just something inside of me that I needed to do.

This is all just a very long drawn out explanation for the changes I'm preparing to make in my life. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me, and I'm sure to a lot of people out there wont care either but maybe someone does. And maybe that someone is VERY vocal about their opinions, I don't know. But I guess now is a good a time as any to inform everyone that I am, in fact, becoming a vegetarian.

Now, before you feel the need to argue. Its not because of some deep love for animals, or for animal cruelty, its solely based on the fact that I want some change in my life. I want to eat healthier (I know that plenty will argue that meat is healthy, but really.... who asked you?) I want to strip myself back down to the basics. Fruits. Vegetables. And the like. Mostly I just want to prove to myself that I can do it. I want to show myself that I have the self control to better myself physically.

If you've spent anytime around me you will know that I am lucky. I was blessed with a tall, thin frame and a fast metabolism. I can eat almost anything I like and not have to worry. Of course I believe in moderation and the like, but I'm not strict on myself by any means. I'm also not completely happy with what I see in the mirror. Now, why not take what I've been blessed with, add a little self discipline and see where it gets me. Hopefully to a naturally healthy, and happy 20something.

So there you have it. I will check back in with updates and let you all know how I'm doing, but I feel really good about this. I'm excited to do it and see how I end up. I hope you all are cheering me on as well. :)

Damn... It feels good to be a Willhite

I want to start this one out by saying that I have always loved my family. I have always known that I came from a great one, and that I'm lucky enough to say that after 35 years my parents are still married and happily tolerating each other. I've also never doubted my families love for me. Its one of those Mormon traits that will not die. Family is first. Always has and always will.

That being said.... My family has proven once again that I am one lucky girl. For those close enough I don't need to go into detail. Life has been rough the last little bit. I was struggling. My family stepped up to the plate and carried me through. They were all far away but I have never felt their love more.

I love that I can say once again without a doubt that if ever I need anything, my family is there. I can call them, night or day and they will come to my rescue.

Talent I wish I had

In the past I've written about how I wish I was artistic. I would give my left boob to be able to sit down and hours later have a master piece. Of even something just remotely cute. On the other hand, I hate to be one of those girls that picks up a digital camera, takes a few pictures, edits the CRAP out of them on their free photo editor on the computer and then thinks they are a photographer. I am so NOT one of those girls. Or boys for that matter. I just have this inner desire to have some sort of artistic ability. Of which I have very little. But needless to say, I like to take pictures anyway. Especially of the kids.

So today was the first day of camp for the girls (YAY!!!!!!!!) and as we were patiently waiting at the front door for the bus to come, I took advantage of the camera to try and milk a little creativeness out of my bones. I'll let you be the judge. If they are the worst things ever so be it. But here it is....

They get their beauty from their mother.

Lightening 'Queen is so ballsy

My little pony while we wait

Ready to go...

Savilla and Nate seeing the girls off.

Off they go!