I'm a terrible person

Now before you get all up in arms about the title of the post, read it first, you may find yourself agreeing.

There are two things I am very aware of about myself.

1. I am a flip flopper (very easily persuaded to change my mind and/or opinion.

2. I am very passionate about whatever my opinion may be at that time.

(Now I'm also really good at putting a good spin on things so I like to advertise myself at being easy going and open minded!...anyway. Back to my original thought...)

For the past 2 years I've been pretty adamant about my desire to never have children. I live with 4, I think they are adorable, I love them so much it hurts sometimes, but I have nights, weekends, and holidays off. I just don't know if children of my own are in my future. Now, before you jump into a tirade about, just wait until I get married, or, maybe when you grow up a little more and finish sowing those wild oats, blah, blah,blah... lets just back to the two things I'm really good at.... being passionate at... flip flopping.

Now that I'm not passionately single anymore (say what?!?! I know.... I was shocked to. But he's so cute and snuggly!) I have begun to be passionately flip floppy about wanting kids (someday. not now, geeze its only been 6 weeks people! He's not THAT snuggly)

Now, its not the first thing I tell people so when Marin outed my secret to Nick I felt like I needed to defend myself. I did, he agreed/understood and we went on our way. But he unleashed a monster. He allowed me space to flip flop, out loud, about it. (I don't even have to hide my neurosis' in front of him. Its truly magical.)

So thus begins my ever lasting commentary about whether or not I want kids, and the reasons why I feel that way, and there in lies how I am a terrible person.

Last weekend Nick and I went down to Virginia to go to the Marine Museum and to visit Quantico (the marine base). It was a lot of fun, but thats another post for another time. While we were there we were in the store on base and I met a new born baby, 3 weeks old, and sleeping. I turned to Nick "I want a baby!" Now, Nick is a great boyfriend, he chuckled, patted me on the head, and distracted me with shiny new cameras. About 20 minutes later we were in a different part of the store and heard the same baby crying, hard, homeboy was UPSET. I turned to Nick " I change my mind, in fact I think I just felt my uterus close." He again smiled, patted my head and showed me the Sees Candy display.

I'm a nut case I tell you. This happens about a BAZILLION times a day. And I'm not even actively trying to DECIDE if I want kids or not. Sheesh.

Now, not to under estimate my craziness, I've taken it to a new, worse level.

"what if I have a baby and its crossed eyed?!?! I don't want kids."

"look at those little baby fatigues! I want a baby!"

So now you know. I am a terrible person. As of right now I am NOT having kids, because what if.... WHAT IF!!!!!!!!...... they get my chin?!?!?